I've been trying my best to update and personalise everything, but it's hellish to start everything from scratch. Nonetheless, I press on...

Religion
I wonder sometimes about it. It's not that I'm not a believer, I am. But sometimes I don't think I believe enough in any one religion to be a faithful follower. I have watched many friends change over the years, many from the fervent to the atheist, and from the non-believers to the faithful, and others so passionate in one religion to swing to another.
I remember being awestruck by the beauty of prayer and peace and light as a child in primary school. I remember the closeness to God and I remember the lightness and happiness of being. I remember the story of "Footsteps" to this day, and in a way it gives me hope when I don't think I can carry on.
Yet watching other friends from other religions believe so ardently in their religions, I waver.
Oh perhaps you damn me for what a weak person I am. Perhaps I am already damned by my wavering. By how years of solitude and separation from the Christian upbringings I was brought up in changed my faith, and indeed, me, forever.
I used to pain to go to church, and my parents didn't allow. I used to cry and cry. And then I sneaked off once or twice, and didn't find the right church.
Then I grew older. I met lots of friends who acted as a religious support. They encouraged me, told me to pray and be patient and I was!
But then the world changed. Yes, it changed greatly and I did something dangerous. I thought.